I hear the answers appear when you just stand still. As I reflect on the past 4 days spent in silent meditation, I feel a deep sense of peace in myself. In my place in my body, with perfect timing and placement. I remind myself of the experience of impermanence, in the field of mind and matter, the one we reside in most days. It is so clear that it is my own attachments that leads to the suffering and that I am the chief cause and liberator of my own suffering with my awareness and reactivities. A life time, how many life times, or programmed responses to what it based on what was, what isn't. Each day I practice sitting with these responses, digging a little deeper into their where-abouts, and letting go, always letting go. Rising and passing away.
Whilst I don't completely resonate with the entirety of the Buddhist world view on the topic all that earth life is suffering (this I don't dig..) and the only way to liberate us from suffering is through a path of attachment (this is dig!) which ultimately leads to non engagement (this I don't dig..) to the point of transcendence (this is dig!). I feel there a time in our lives, especially as we grow older with the passing moments, as we begin to fade into the waking dream, to become more and more internalised, introverted and quiet about things, it's fitting, natural even. And I feel there is also a time for engagement and riding the waves of elation and pain, balancing acceptance of what is yet non-complacency and determination to make positive change. That we are here in the perfect blend of atmosphere and elements to co-create wonders. Here the Buddhist precepts of not causing disharmony to ourselves and one another is a good guidance in how we go about these revolutions. So I utilise these reminders and skills to cultivate loving detachment as I continue to show up with my heart's vulnerabilities eager to feel, to explore, to bruise, to mend, all with one stream of awareness running through me. I am one conscious river or consciousness experiencing its own consciousness flowing and interacting with itself. I am the witness of my own existence. I am the manifest of the un-manifest. I surrender to the subtleties.